Femme Fatale

Inspired by a dear friend.

ritz-paris-hotel-gabrielle-chanel-bloc-2_0

 

My definition: The one’s they tell you and him to stay away from, the ones who know what they want and are not afraid to go after it.

Dictionary definition: a seductive woman who lures men into dangerous or compromising situations.

The beginning of a new series here on the blog! I have been feeling very inspired and recently there is a lot of girl power in the air.

My dear friend recently launched a website, dedicated to educating the masses and having the very important conversation of Feminism and why its important here’s the link to a truly enlightening experience  brag-aboutit  .

So this new series is me redefining the definition of ‘Femme Fatale’ the popular definition  is basically another way of saying women are responsible for the actions grown men take and I do not agree. It could also mean women are powerful and can make their dreams come true and I like this definition more.

The fact that women are seemingly more  liberated in several ways is a good thing. I think it is important that women have the choice to be and  ‘Femme Fatale’ should be another way of saying free.

This series is hereby dedicated to my dear friend for starting something bigger than herself and for being true to her beliefs.

My first few pieces  will be on the iconic women in history, I want to start from way back when.

First up is my favourite,the woman I have come to admire and maybe should examine more closely. Gabrielle ‘Coco’ Chanel.

I remember stumbling upon her biopic when I was about ten. That was something I’ll never forget, because even at that age I was amazed by how she overcame the struggle and how  used her femininity to progress; but despite this she never compromised her standards and worked hard for everything she got.

coco-chanel

I loved that she believed in practicality and comfort, but not at the expense of looking good. She redefined what it meant to be feminine and showed that black wasn’t a colour anyone should be afraid of. Although I am taking a path far  away from hers,she is the very definition of Femme Fatale for me. She did it her way and  was unapologetic in her ambitions.

Coco Chanel inspires me daily to be bold, seek more and put myself out there. I am failing miserably at all this but I am trying and I’m realising that’s all that matters.

So this week when you remember Femme Fatale, remember to be unapologetic and remember that your dreams are meant to be big!

– Ari’

 

Consent

Inspired by recent events.
Learn to ask the question.

BOY

She wanted it.

That’s what he said.

She just needed to be pushed over the edge.

She wanted it.

That’s what he heard.

He just needed to take off her skirt.

She wanted it.

That’s what her dress said.

Right?

It wasn’t all in my head?

I didn’t ask her,

but she wanted it,

She wanted to feel me.

She wanted my hands on her skin.

She wanted to take me.

She was just too intoxicated to let me in.

So you know i helped her along…

“So you got Consent?”

“Consent?”

“Yeah.. Consent?

Did i ask her?

No, but her dress said so.

Did i ask her?

No, but her eyes didn’t say no.

Did i ask her?

No but my mind told me so.

Did i ask her?

No, but the way she moved her hips let me know.

Did i ask her?

No, but she was walking alone

Did i ask her?

I didn’t hear her say no!

Bro, just so you know

silence,

Is not an answer.

 

 

‘Reclaim the Night’

My Uni is saying NO to all forms of violence against women, street harassment and victim blaming

Date:  Thursday 23rd February

Time: 7pm

Location: Owens Park ,Fallowfield- Oxford Road Manchester

Why?

Because Women’s rights are human rights.

Because We need to stop blaming the Victim.

Because My choice of outfit does not take away my choices.

Because You don’t own me.

Because “I’m a woman Phenomenally , Phenomenal woman that’s me.”

-Ari

 

 

I HATE THIS COUNTRY ~but not really (from a girl who cried a lot pt 1)

RIP Miss Theresa, she died in a tragic accident on her way home after spending Christmas with her family .

I hate this country because we don’t have sidewalks and people die just trying to get home.

But she was only 24 did she really have to go?

I hate this country because people are dying and crying on  one side, but on the other no one even wants to know.

I hate this country because we are the woman scorned, the woman constantly burned, beaten and bruised but we still won’t leave the home.

I hate this country because we only got to pick between the devil and the deep blue sea, and now everyone wishes we had picked the devil we know.

I hate this country because we seem to have no hope and nowhere to go, but I hope we keep trying and I hope we start fighting!

Trust me girl you deserve better.

–  From a girl who cried a lot (Ari’)

Forbidden

 

Baby what’s holding you back?

Is it that mat?

Or the way the water flows

Do you think he knows?

Getting down on your knees praying and saying God please.

God please don’t let me be wrong.

God please just let me be strong.

It’s not allowed and you don’t know why.

But you do

The way you pray is different

Say Amen.

The way you wear your hair and clad your skin won’t let you let him in.

Two parallel lines, something so different.

Can you even pay this any more attention?

Or give this anymore thought?

I don’t think you should!

I think you should shut it down.

It’s forbidden fruit.

 

I’m a Feminist ‘unfollow me’ & other stories

There has been a recent shift on the blog from the poetry, i haven’t been inspired lately. In other words my life has been mostly drama free.

So today I am talking about Feminism.

Firstly, I am a Feminist.

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie said it first, but i’ll say it again louder this time ,for the people in the back! We should all be!

My Aunt agrees with me on this, one day i went to visit and she said:

“I have something for you, i might not be as radical as the book but women are not just here to please men in the bedroom and the kitchen.” Buhari should have been listening in on this conversation right…

She went on to place the essay and acclaimed Ted Talk by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie ‘ We should all be Feminists’ in my hand. I was so touched because this is a Nigerian woman into her 50’s and although she has always been the cool ‘aunt’ i was so pleased that someone not from my time understood the importance.

More so because I tried to tell my mum how we all needed to be feminists and her reply was

” If everyone was the same  it would all be a bit boring.” no luck there but I decided she would see the light eventually!

Now on Twitter i was tweeting away and some random man followed me, i like to go through people’s tweets because i personally think they do represent how you view the world and your sense of humour etc.

Anyway , this man had been posting about how Feminism was ruining marriages etc

I was appalled and upset that such an individual would even follow me. So i made a Public Service Announcement.

‘I am a feminist please unfollow me’ in fact i directed it at him

Out of nowhere another man pops up  and says:

” What made you a feminist.Degree? Lack of home training or ?”

Yes my Law degree is actually the reason why i am seeking equality.

My home training is the reason i believe that i deserve to be paid as much as any man, it is the reason i don’t believe women should accept whatever they are given, its the reason i think women should be heard not just seen.

My home training is the reason i believe a woman can do whatever a man can do and should be allowed to have the choice to!

Now i was shocked but then after going through this second guy’s tweets, his views were that feminism was demonic amongst other absurd things.

It was a funny ordeal and my friend’s and i had a good laugh, mostly because we saw how far off we are from where we need to be.

 

So i am a Feminist and there are many reasons why you might want to be one too!

 

 

Rupi Kaur’s Milk & Honey and all the things it did for me.

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One random summers day  I decided to read ‘TheReadClub‘ book of the week. I rarely joined in, in fact i think this was my first time.

I didn’t know it would be the right time.

The book happened to be ‘Milk & Honey’ by Rupi Kaur and i have never raved about something so much in my life.

I truly felt something, i was deeply moved. The words jumped out to me and touched my soul…. i am being ‘extra’ but this book deserves every ounce of drama queen that is me.

It made me happy, it made me sad.

Most importantly it made me want to write and take this thing I’ve been doing for years a bit more seriously.

I have always written stuff down, but ‘ i am not a writer’ I have always felt the urge to write but ‘ i am not into anything’.

What did it have to take to realise that this was me, this was who i wanted to be.

This summer i took me seriously.

I did everything i said i was going to, i explored different things and hung out with different people.

I found Sarah Kay,

I found Rupi Kaur.

I found Titilope Sonuga.

I found Thursdays at Bogobiri.

I found out I loved spoken word.

Milk & Honey was my trigger.

I mixed it in and i found i could be happy.

I am looking forward to more ‘accidental discoveries’.

I am looking forward to more Rupi’s, Sarah’s and Titi’s.

I am looking forward to more things that truly interest me.

In a past life this would have been written in a notebook somewhere, but in the spirit of ‘self discovery’ i hope someone sees this and explores their hidden or not so subtle interests.