With the way the world is set up these days, long-distance or some distance is typically the order of the day. With access to jobs, schools and just the possibilities of moving around; more and more we consider long-distance dating/relationships. Even more so with our current global pandemic, some of us have been forced into long & some distance type relationships. Which brings me to my question- Is a Long Distance Relationship Worth It?
Spoiler alert: You are the only one that can decide this for yourself. However, I will be sharing what I have found from some conversations I had.
For some context I used to be team –NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN! More recently due to a series of events I am now team- GIVE IT A GO!
So there you have it, you can give it a go if you are currently dating someone you really like and are willing to commit to long term. You don’t have to take my word for it – I will be sharing comments from other people.
Based on my research here are some things to consider when giving long distance a shot:
I was surprised only one person mentioned this but it is a factor that is very key! People always recommend you plan your visits ahead- this requires money. You will spend money on travel, dates when you’re finally together and then gifts. Once you start long distance, gifts become a thing, even if they weren’t your thing before. It is always sweet to get a reminder that your significant other is thinking of you.
You need to trust your partner 100% It is the only realistic way you can get through this. Obviously you wouldn’t be in a relationship with someone you don’t trust but being long distance takes this to a whole new level. Trust is typically built over time and something a lot of people mentioned was that they would be more comfortable doing long distance if they had dated with no distance at first.
” My key takeaway from being in a long distance relationship for 3 years is that Trust & Communication are the most important things.”- Anon
As with everything else in life & even regular relationships, being intentional always pays off. With long distance, it helps to schedule time for your partner. So, set a Facetime date, a Netflix party, playing online games, doing a Bible study or devotional plan together, praying together. Plan things you can do together apart from talk on the phone. This leads to my next point.
“Being present and not multitasking while on the phone- behave as if you’re having the conversation in person and just be present.”
“know what works for both of you and be intentional about doing or giving them this.”
You typically have limited options but that should not stop you from showing up for your partner. You have to be attentive to what your partner likes or doesn’t like and try to find creative ways to express that. If you know your partner loves letters- write to them! If they love flowers- send flowers! Find ways to surprise your partner, thankfully technology allows us to do this in different ways. Most importantly, make sure you are listening to your partner and doing what they want.
“I surprise him with cards at random times because i discovered he likes that.”
Communication is key
Again, this is a given in any relationship but as I have previously stated, being long distance heightens the need for this. Some quotes about communication from my contributors:
“Be open with each other even when they’re being hella annoying…”
“Communicate in the right amount for you both, don’t over do it.”
“If there’s something, we have to talk about it. We don’t feel comfortable withholding things from each other.”
“Complete transparency and open communication, even if it’s hard.”
This is a big one for me, it probably goes without saying but honestly, sometimes you miss your partner and would just like a reminder of when you were together and how it felt. Nothing helps more than having a cute picture or video to help relive one of your moments with your significant other.
Patience & Understanding
You definitely have to adjust to the long-distance situation, especially if you switch from seeing each other all the time to long distance. You need patience, understanding and resilience to get you through. Patience because sometimes things can be lost in translation via text or even the tone of your partner on the phone. Understanding because there might be parts of their day you don’t necessarily have full information on and you just need to understand that.
You and your partner have to be committed to making it work and ready to keep choosing each other.
Although long-distance gets a negative rap for the most part. I found from my discussions that most people who have been in it or are currently in one are happy to do it with the right person. Personally I love that a long-distance relationship allows you to focus on the friendship part of your relationship above all else. That gives a good foundation for anything that you see being long-term. A long-distance relationship can be so worth it with the right partner! But ultimately everyone has to decide this for themselves.
What my contributors said in response to the question- Is a long-distance relationship worth it:
” A Long-distance relationship is soo worth it if you feel like you’ve found the right person. Nothing worse than not trying at all and thinking ‘what if?’ I am super happy I tried because above having an amazing boyfriend, I have an amazing friend for LIFE.”
” Lol. I feel like no relationship is stress-free, each one has its hurdles that need to be overcome. If this is someone you see and desire a future with, the long-distance is a means to an end. So if it’s worth it’ depends on each individual person’s circumstances and end game.“
“With who I am with, everything is worth it. It all depends on your partner I guess and where you see y’alls future together ( hopefully they don’t belong to the streets” – P.s did you get the Future joke lol!
“Yeah if you’re both willing to put in the effort.”
Have you done long distance? Are you currently doing long distance? Have I convinced you to give it a go or are you still team never going to happen? I would really love to hear your thoughts on this in the comments section below!
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