Life In My Twenties: I’m Twenty-Three!

This week our post is two in one, both of our writers have no idea who the other is but they somehow happen to be contemplating what it means to be 23.

I found their words really encouraging and I hope you do too!

Afoma

It’s my 23^rd birthday in about a month and I’m very hopeful for the next year of my life. 

My 21^st year was probably the worst year of my life and its largely because life literally hit me from nowhere. I had been waiting to finally be an adult and have all these amazing life experiences – but here I was at 21 feelings very unaccomplished and unsatisfied.

I turned 21 a month after my graduation from university and I found myself extremely unhappy with my career choices and feeling like I should be doing a lot more with my life, which then made me spend the better part of my 21^st year either sad or in tears.

By my 22^nd birthday, I had decided to stop being sad over the things I couldn’t control, be appreciative of what I have achieved so far and remember to take each day as it comes because I’m still young and I have a long full life ahead of me.

This past year has been very satisfying to put it in one word. I took each day as it came, and it has been so rewarding. This year I started several projects and initially my anxiety was skyrocketing because what if it fails, but really what if they fail? Well now, I’ve accepted that if they fail, I’ll just have to try again. Life really goes on.

The best part about my 20s is figuring out life with my friends. We are all experiencing different things, learning & evolving, I cant wait to see the women we finally grow into!

Mira

I spend half of my day wishing I was 5 and the other half wishing I was 35. But recently I am learning to relax and appreciate the chaos that is being 23.

If you’re anything like me, you probably have about 10,000 thoughts a minute, a ton of different ways your life could end up, and you get consumed with your ideas as time passes. I have always viewed this as something I need to fix – To grow up and not feel like a child concerned with childish dreams.

Lately, I am not so sure, I am thinking more about how I think about myself and my design. I’m realising ( trying to really) that just because a path is not mainstream does not mean it’s not valid.

Let’s be real, this process sucks! It’s really high highs and shattering lows. It is anxiety, peace, pain and joy all at the same time. It is droughts of uncertainty, breaths of clarity and plunges of confusion. But it is life, and somewhere between the chaos, we have to live, we have to be.

So breathe, you’re good. You’re still figuring it out, it is messy but it is beautiful. Yes, the mess can be beautiful. Not when it’s cleaned up, but right in the middle! Laugh a little. Don’t be too hard on yourself because you’re doing good. Maybe not by the standards of the world, but you’re good.

Afoma & Mira have reminded me of some words of encouragement I wrote in a previous post- check it out here.

Please share and leave a comment if you enjoyed reading this !

Life In My Twenties: The First Year of my ’20s

Our guest today is in the ‘first year’ of her twenties and she explains what that looks like.

My takeaway is – we are all figuring it out, but we have to answer our own questions & decide what we want our lives to look like, no one has the answers!

Leave a comment and let me know how you felt at 20! Share this if you enjoyed it.

Happy Reading!

My 20s started off the most chaotic way possible – I had an exam, it rained excessively, I was late for my birthday dinner, my makeup didn’t bang and I had a fight with my friendship group.

Despite the start whenever I was asked, how does it feel to be in your 20s, my reply was always “it’s brought me so much clarity” (LOL). The thing is I was an overly anxious teenager and by the time I reached 20, it was a lot clearer what I liked, what I didn’t like and what I wanted my future to look like. 

My plan was simple: graduate with a masters, work towards becoming a chartered engineer while pursuing my dreams of becoming a freelance fashion journalist on the side and eventually start working on moving out of the UK. In some ways, my 20th year was a demo for what I had planned for the rest of my 20s. 

You see, I had planned on going into my 3rd year but somehow, when I least expected it, I got an offer for a year in industry(lesson no 1 in my 20s, plans can change anytime!!). Truth is, I really was not in the frame of mind to do 3rd  year, as at this point I had started to resent my course, so, I saw this as a way out and as a divine opportunity to clear my head. 

So I moved down south, to my own apartment, to start the infamous 9-5. I was doing everything an “adult” should be doing – living on my own, paying bills, going to work, having drinks on Friday night, and I was even writing for my fashion blog and another publication on the side. Perfect right? 

The thing no one tells you about your 20s is that even when you seem to have your shit together, you don’t. This was the first time I was truly on my own and there’s no clear blueprint really on what life in your 20s is like. 

Should I still be going out clubbing or am I too old? 

Should I be getting into a serious relationship?

 Should I be “grinding” and saving for a house like Twitter says I should do? 

Should I be finding myself? Should I be feeling this old?

 Should I be feeling this lost? 

What I’ve learnt from my first year in my 20s is you have to answer these questions for yourself.

Your 20s are when everyone’s path seems to diverge (some people are graduating and starting work, some doing masters, some moving back home) and you can no longer look around you for guidance. 

To make things worse there seems to be a huge pop culture emphasis on teens and high school then boom unmarried in your 30s – with a huge gap in the decade that defines your 20s. All this has led me to believe that my 20s is a time for me to look inwards, to define the life I want, the values I want to live by and stay true to myself. It’s also led me to believe that if I have to rely on myself more than ever now I have to start working and investing in myself unlike ever before.

 I can only hope for the best while I do this. 

Ose. 

Life In My Twenties: Where Does It All Come From?

This week our writer focuses on faith…whether you’re a person of faith or just trying to have faith in yourself this is definitely one that we can all relate to in some way.

For me, the central lesson here is sometimes things spin out of your control but there’s a plan so don’t fret.

As always please share your thoughts in the comments I love hearing them!

Dear Ari,

When you messaged me and offered me this beautiful opportunity to be featured on your blog, I was super excited!

I remember the message saying “…faith, career, love, self-improvement, success, failure, identity, purpose, lack of purpose, killing it, struggling, relationships, friendships, family…”. I thought to myself easy-peasy.

These are topics I write/journal about as often as possible and so I thought sending in my entry would be super easy. That was the first place where I was wrong, writing for yourself and writing for an audience are two different things. 

Writing for yourself helps you understand yourself better, brings you some clarity. You are on the receiving end.

An audience? Wow. Getting people to understand you is a whole different thing.

While I would love to write on relationships, friendships or family, (as these are the things I find myself journaling about the most… because I think I have learnt way too much in the past few years).

I choose to write on faith as it is the one thing that has kept me teachable and open to learning in all these other aspects.

Let’s title this, WHERE DOES IT ALL COME FROM?

I am 26 years old now.

5 years ago, I decided to take on the opportunity of doing an internship in a different country for a month. In the beginning, the application process seemed so straight forward. I did not envision the hassle the next few months would entail, I realised later that I would have to pay for every week of this internship. I said to myself that it could be done. So I paid for it.

After paying, I found out that I had to take a professional exam to qualify for it. I paid for the exam and wrote it.

When this was done, I found out that I needed to apply for a student visa as I could not use a regular visitor’s visa. I accepted that. Then I was informed that I needed to attach a police report (this is not cheap where I live either).

I forgot to mention that I would have to sort my own accommodation and travel and all of that other stuff. The list of expenses kept getting longer and longer and it only upset me more because it was more than what I bargained for.

My other classmates had opted for internships arranged by the school and so had a way cheaper route.

I was discouraged every step of the way and I remember driving to my friend’s apartment to ask him to guide me through the police report. As I parked downstairs, I realised how stressed I was and how I was failing to meet the deadline and how I did not want to keep asking my parents for money they had not planned for and next thing, tears!!!!

I was full-on weeping. I was so broken by all that was going on and in the middle of this outburst, a question popped up in my head… who is your source? 

Ahn Ahn! I paused and said “ehn?”.  The question rang in my head again. The answer, however, was an easy one. Jesus. Jesus was and still is my source. He is the one who fills my cup so it overflows, He blesses me with good health, He gives me money, love, food, water, sleep, laughter, joy, everything! Most of all, Jesus is my source of peace. 

In that moment, I had to remember Jesus was my source of money to pay for it all. My parents were only the vessel. He would sort it all out. I started laughing at myself, ashamed that I had such a big God but still had time to worry and cry. I was filled with so much peace from that moment. 

There’s a good ending to this story because I went for the internship, had the best time and as they say…the rest is history. 

I needed that experience because even though the internship is long behind me, I learnt a valuable lesson that gives me a chance to ask myself one question whenever I am under pressure. The answer is always Jesus and knowing the answer is always followed by some peace.

So, let me ask, who is your source?

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” John 14:27 NLT

Life in My Twenties: Making A Name For Myself.

I will just let you guys get into it, please let me know what you think in the comments section- can you relate? Enjoy.

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  Timothy

Life in my twenties has been such an unexpected experience. I was the party guy,  sports guy,  and your typical frat boy (Not proud of it lol) but in the back of my mind as a teen, I was always anxious about turning 20.

I felt that at 20 you just had to grow up and have your life sorted out and start making moves both financially and relationship-wise because if you didn’t make it then, you might never make it. That’s how I felt.

I can never forget my 21^st birthday, halfway through my sixth shot lol  I  had a mini-breakdown. I realized I was 21 and to me, that meant I was a full-blown adult and I needed to be making millions in the next year and getting married in like 5 what a joke!

It took a toll on my mind as I started pushing small business that ended up just fading out, it was an issue. I just wanted to make it fast so I could live the comfortable life I had envisioned.

What helped me and changed my twenties was getting baptized and following God. I was able to understand things better because I believed more in Gods timing of things. It also gave me an inherent calm, I wasn’t so agitated to prove to everyone that I am going to be successful. I started doing things with more focus. I can’t really explain it, just trust me it made sense lol.

One thing I had not realized at the beginning of all this was that everything has its time. Pushing myself was good, making mistakes early and failing was a part of life that I just had to accept, it was not going to stop me from trying. It was interesting because I was not really the most religious person growing up. 

Now fast forward a few years later I run my own law practice with some friends, and we get new briefs every week and it’s been a hustle but I know we are building something that makes sense.

At the start of my twenties, I would not have envisioned myself on the legal path at all, but it turns out I have a knack for it! I wouldn’t say I am killing it just yet,  because I have lofty goals for myself and the practice, but I am definitely on the right path and I am looking forward to seeing what life throws at me.

One last thing I would put out there is -I have learnt that it’s alright to have a plan and have goals but life is not predictable; your life and plans can be thrown into a blender and all that but you have to find a way to react on your feet and more importantly take your knocks and get right back up for the next round. 

There’s a lot more but we leave it here for now. In your twenties, just do what you can, don’t stress yourself. Time works differently for various people. 

Bye.

By Timothy.

Life In My Twenties feat Netflix Original – The Politician

Hello everyone! Back again after a much-needed break and I got the bright idea to start this new series on the blog- ‘Life in My Twenties.’

In the spirit of sharing, I have asked several people to write about their experience(s) of life in their twenties. Partly because this blog is an avenue to explore what that looks like for me and because why not!

Some of my inspiration for this series came while watching season two of the Netflix Original – The Politician.

This season we watch Payton who is now a student in his twenties take a second shot at his political aspirations. He is faced with all sorts of moral and ethical dilemmas which eventually lead him to question who he is and if he is able to accept this person. We also see this same question being asked and explored by his group of friends/ political aides.

This made me think about myself and my friends and the various phases we are in. I thought it would be really interesting to get different perspectives from different people on what life in their twenties looks like. Now, these are all people I know personally so I’m sure there’s some bias somewhere… I will be throwing it open to the public at some point but let’s get the ball rolling first.

I can’t wait to read the contributions to this series and what comes at the end of it!

Let me know if you would like to contribute to the series and what you think of The Politician!

The first post will be up next Sunday!

Ari’