Growth writing

Life In My Twenties: Untitled.

This week’s guest shares so much with us, a good reminder to reflect and take some time to figure out who you are.

As always if you enjoy reading it please share and leave a comment with your thoughts!

Happy reading.


(Kindly suggest a title in the comment section)

I had my first episode of Depression at age 20! (What a way to start telling your story #lol). 

I started my twenties with so many dreams and aspirations, and things that I really wanted to achieve in life. I HAD A PLAN! (Kai, God has a sense of humour, because you see those plans …just keep reading)

The beginning

So at age 20, I was observing the National Youth Service (NYSC) and in a relationship that I knew clearly was going nowhere. I was in a “bad place” with my loving parents, who I thought were being too overprotective and wanted to make all my life’s decisions for me. Especially when I had to pick my place of primary assignment. It was bad enough that they made me relocate from the North, where I had enjoyed my 3 weeks orientation camp; they now also wanted to pick my PPA for me… Ko Jo (no way). Anyways, “Ko jo” was the beginning of my journey in and out of depression for a number of years in my twenties. I was fighting “people” and situations in the name of fighting for my rights! #FREEDOMFIGHTER! 

The earlier parts of my twenties was pretty much a rollercoaster ride. I didn’t get into the places where I really wanted to work…In fact, for the most part, I didn’t get the kind of job I really wanted. I was in and out of relationships (okay, not like 100… just 3, but that seems like 100 for me). I was struggling with discovering who I really was, and finding the things that made me tick, paying attention to the things that drained me emotionally (I honestly couldn’t point out a lot, so I started suspecting my village people), dealing with past baggage that kept rearing its head in my everyday life (I had a strong need to be loved the way I wanted to in relationships, so if you’re not doing that- I’m out….The real issue was deeper than wanting to be loved).

Figuring it out

I started walking in God’s purpose without even knowing it at the start because I was so fixated on what I wanted for myself. My relationship with God improved and I found expression in ways that were definitely not in the initial plan. Gained insight into how to get the best out of all my relationships ( not just romantic) this started with knowing the kinds of relationships to allow into my life, not setting unrealistic expectations of others. As someone in her late twenties, I can say that a lot has changed about me over the years.

I now realize that some of the challenges I had earlier on as a young twenty-something, were actually part of a process to build me into the woman I am today. They weren’t palatable at the time, but today, I AM GRATEFUL for them.

So, this is what I have discovered usually happens to some people in their twenties:

  1. You set out with plans for how your life should go—- (fair enough)
  2.   If you are a God-led person, you see number 1 above—— it doesn’t quite work that way! God really does have a sense of humor…O ma shock e #lol. Is it wrong to make plans? NO…but don’t be so stuck on your plans that you don’t allow room for change.
  3. You put pressure on yourself when you don’t achieve your plans ‘early enough’, especially when you have friends that seem to be doing so well…Please understand that each person’s life map/direction is different! Comparison is draining, focus on your lane.
  4. When you set out to achieve something and you don’t,  some people,  are able to keep it moving, others, get stuck on it. NEWSFLASH: If you wallow in the emotions of not achieving one thing, you still won’t get it done, and you will be holding yourself back. One bad experience doesn’t make you a failure, Keep it moving! 


When you are older, still in your twenties, you will look back and discover that all the experiences in your early twenties culminated into who you are now that you are about to turn thirty.

Now that I am in my late twenties, did I get into my dream company?, No! Am I still fixed on the plans I had at the beginning of my twenties? Honestly, I don’t even remember most of them. Have I healed from the past? Yes,  Am I still needy in relationships?  Nope. 

Do I now understand my life’s purpose? Yes, and I love it! Do I want to follow the career path I had when I was twenty, No! I have discovered myself and what makes me tick. Do I regret the experiences in my early twenties? Not at all.

Life is not “one size fits all”. Be true to yourself and keep it moving!

By Fike

A lifestyle blog.

10 replies on “Life In My Twenties: Untitled.”

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