Happy New Year x Life Update.

Happy New Year! I am wishing us all a wonderful year ahead filled with endless joy and more clarity. I know I have been away for a while but you’ll soon find out why.

We all have mixed emotions about a new year, what it really means if it’s even a ‘real thing’ etc but things are only as real as the people who believe in them. It’s real to me and so I am choosing to be excited and extremely hopeful! In an even weirder turn of events I remember feeling so unsettled at the end of 2019, very anxious and just a little scared to enter the great and mighty 2020, well I guess I know why that was. At the end of 2020 however, I was excited and spent the evening dancing in my room lol.

Anyway, how did you enjoy your holiday? Did you spend some much needed time alone, catch up with friends or chill with family? I was with my family for most of it and saw a few friends in between… I only had one week off work; which I spent sleeping, eating and watching way too much TV. I loved every second and I wish I had more time lol.

Towards the end of last year, I made a pretty big decision. I decided to make a career switch, barely one year into actually (finally) practising law and I wanted out. Now my sights are set on the Tech scene, thankfully I have been given some opportunities to work and volunteer. I am hoping to grow in this space a lot more this year and make some more changes.

Also, I started thinking very seriously about what I wanted my community platform The 2020 Vision to do for people, and how to be helpful. I am still thinking about this but I really hope this year I figure it out even more. @the2020visionsquad on Instagram if you’re wondering what I am talking about.

Another thing that took up my time was the fact that I took a random writing opportunity. This has turned out to be fun but also challenging. Because I am always wary of writing for people because – imposter syndrome. But, we don’t pay that any attention in this house! So I have been writing, I will share more when it is time.

Lastly, just before the year ran out I got the opportunity to speak to someone who I really admire, and essentially help her out with her community platform. This opportunity was definitely a highlight for me and I am still so shocked by how it came about. All I will say is shoot your shot and you never know where it will take you! You have nothing to lose from trying.

That’s what I have been up to, and you can see I have been a bit busy (swamped), but I wouldn’t have it any other way. My hopes for the new year are simple – do more of the things that scare me, go where the money resides, travel, and show up for the people who mean the world to me ( of which there are many).

What have you been up to? What are your hopes for 2021? Please share them with me in the comments

P.S my book club is reading – The Girl With the Louding Voice- Abi Dare, thought to share in-case someone needs a book recommendation.

What to do when life is hard.

We all want to know what to do when life is hard? Life gets hard, this is just a fact, there will always be highs and lows. The most important thing is how you handle the hard things. It could be the fact that you made a mistake or that you have a difficult job or dealing with hard family members, a failing business or just the uncertainty of the times.

I recently read a book called The Undomestic Goddess – Sophie Kinsella about a high powered lawyer who made a fifty million pounds worth mistake! She ran away from the situation and ended up as a housekeeper! This is the short story… you can read the rest yourself. What I learnt from reading this is that there is no such thing as making a mistake that will ‘ruin your life forever’ and that’s the truth! One of my favourite quotes from the book is ‘‘ Life is a resilient thing…’‘

A few things to remember along the way:

Always remember that you are worthy.

You are not defined by your circumstances or even your slip-ups. Failure is an event and it happens to us all. With this in mind don’t forget that no matter what you’re going through and what people might be saying to you or about your situation. Don’t forget to remember you are worthy simply because you exist!

Remember to take breaks

Rest is so essential when things get overwhelming. Sometimes you might have to power through it but always schedule in time to just stay still. Being still is so underrated but it really helps you to confront whatever situation it is you may be faced with.

Your feelings are valid

No matter what they may be. Be honest with yourself about how the situation is making you feel and how you think you can cope with it.

Talk about it

Sometimes you’re shy or you don’t think you can trust anyone enough. You need to give people a chance to be there for you. A problem shared is a problem half solved. Your trusted friend might offer great advice or provide a listening ear. Don’t underestimate the power of talking through it.

Encourage yourself!

Speak what you want to happen and focus on that. Things might be out of your control but just focus on staying positive, I wrote about 10 positive affirmations to keep you going on the blog- you can find them here.

If you’re in a hard place or trying to handle a hard thing then hang in there! It will be okay in the end and if it’s not okay…… you know how the saying goes.

Share this with anyone who might need to hear this! Leave a comment below if you have any tips for handling hard things.

with love,

Ari’

Life In My Twenties: The First Year of my ’20s

Our guest today is in the ‘first year’ of her twenties and she explains what that looks like.

My takeaway is – we are all figuring it out, but we have to answer our own questions & decide what we want our lives to look like, no one has the answers!

Leave a comment and let me know how you felt at 20! Share this if you enjoyed it.

Happy Reading!

My 20s started off the most chaotic way possible – I had an exam, it rained excessively, I was late for my birthday dinner, my makeup didn’t bang and I had a fight with my friendship group.

Despite the start whenever I was asked, how does it feel to be in your 20s, my reply was always “it’s brought me so much clarity” (LOL). The thing is I was an overly anxious teenager and by the time I reached 20, it was a lot clearer what I liked, what I didn’t like and what I wanted my future to look like. 

My plan was simple: graduate with a masters, work towards becoming a chartered engineer while pursuing my dreams of becoming a freelance fashion journalist on the side and eventually start working on moving out of the UK. In some ways, my 20th year was a demo for what I had planned for the rest of my 20s. 

You see, I had planned on going into my 3rd year but somehow, when I least expected it, I got an offer for a year in industry(lesson no 1 in my 20s, plans can change anytime!!). Truth is, I really was not in the frame of mind to do 3rd  year, as at this point I had started to resent my course, so, I saw this as a way out and as a divine opportunity to clear my head. 

So I moved down south, to my own apartment, to start the infamous 9-5. I was doing everything an “adult” should be doing – living on my own, paying bills, going to work, having drinks on Friday night, and I was even writing for my fashion blog and another publication on the side. Perfect right? 

The thing no one tells you about your 20s is that even when you seem to have your shit together, you don’t. This was the first time I was truly on my own and there’s no clear blueprint really on what life in your 20s is like. 

Should I still be going out clubbing or am I too old? 

Should I be getting into a serious relationship?

 Should I be “grinding” and saving for a house like Twitter says I should do? 

Should I be finding myself? Should I be feeling this old?

 Should I be feeling this lost? 

What I’ve learnt from my first year in my 20s is you have to answer these questions for yourself.

Your 20s are when everyone’s path seems to diverge (some people are graduating and starting work, some doing masters, some moving back home) and you can no longer look around you for guidance. 

To make things worse there seems to be a huge pop culture emphasis on teens and high school then boom unmarried in your 30s – with a huge gap in the decade that defines your 20s. All this has led me to believe that my 20s is a time for me to look inwards, to define the life I want, the values I want to live by and stay true to myself. It’s also led me to believe that if I have to rely on myself more than ever now I have to start working and investing in myself unlike ever before.

 I can only hope for the best while I do this. 

Ose. 

Life in My Twenties: Making A Name For Myself.

I will just let you guys get into it, please let me know what you think in the comments section- can you relate? Enjoy.

• 

  Timothy

Life in my twenties has been such an unexpected experience. I was the party guy,  sports guy,  and your typical frat boy (Not proud of it lol) but in the back of my mind as a teen, I was always anxious about turning 20.

I felt that at 20 you just had to grow up and have your life sorted out and start making moves both financially and relationship-wise because if you didn’t make it then, you might never make it. That’s how I felt.

I can never forget my 21^st birthday, halfway through my sixth shot lol  I  had a mini-breakdown. I realized I was 21 and to me, that meant I was a full-blown adult and I needed to be making millions in the next year and getting married in like 5 what a joke!

It took a toll on my mind as I started pushing small business that ended up just fading out, it was an issue. I just wanted to make it fast so I could live the comfortable life I had envisioned.

What helped me and changed my twenties was getting baptized and following God. I was able to understand things better because I believed more in Gods timing of things. It also gave me an inherent calm, I wasn’t so agitated to prove to everyone that I am going to be successful. I started doing things with more focus. I can’t really explain it, just trust me it made sense lol.

One thing I had not realized at the beginning of all this was that everything has its time. Pushing myself was good, making mistakes early and failing was a part of life that I just had to accept, it was not going to stop me from trying. It was interesting because I was not really the most religious person growing up. 

Now fast forward a few years later I run my own law practice with some friends, and we get new briefs every week and it’s been a hustle but I know we are building something that makes sense.

At the start of my twenties, I would not have envisioned myself on the legal path at all, but it turns out I have a knack for it! I wouldn’t say I am killing it just yet,  because I have lofty goals for myself and the practice, but I am definitely on the right path and I am looking forward to seeing what life throws at me.

One last thing I would put out there is -I have learnt that it’s alright to have a plan and have goals but life is not predictable; your life and plans can be thrown into a blender and all that but you have to find a way to react on your feet and more importantly take your knocks and get right back up for the next round. 

There’s a lot more but we leave it here for now. In your twenties, just do what you can, don’t stress yourself. Time works differently for various people. 

Bye.

By Timothy.

10 Positive Affirmations to keep you going!

You are what you focus on. I really believe in the power of meditating on a word, idea, plan and watching it come to life before your very eyes. So much so that I facilitate vision board & goal setting – you can find out more about this on @the2020visionsquad on Instagram. Positive affirmations give us strength us to believe in an action we want to bring to life!

Today I will be sharing 10 positive affirmations that will keep you going when you need an extra push.

1. I am enough – simple but so efficient, we sometimes think we need to be more, or be like someone else. But you are enough just as you are!

2. I will show up for myself today – Showing up for yourself, however this looks to you is fine. As long as you are able to show up!

3. I am excellent in everything I do – We are not called to perfection, we are only meant to do things to the very best of our abilities.

4. I am beautiful– Say it, because you are.

5. I am deserving of joy – Always, no matter what-you deserve joy simply because you exist.

6. I am strong & capable of achieving my dreams – Yes you are, you can do whatever you want to do. Just keep on believing and the wish that you wish will come true ( a little bit of Disney for you).

7. I am who the world needs right now, I will not let fear get in the way.- This one I heard at a lovely session hosted by @tiwalowla on instagram sharing it with everyone because it is so good and so true.

8. I will respond, not react– because we need to protect our peace at all costs.

9. I live in abundance – we do not have a poverty/ lack mindset!

10. I am confident , I am resilient, I am worthy– because you are and that’s on PERIOD.

Go forth and conquer as you give yourself these gentle reminders whenever you need them! Please share this with someone and leave one of your favourite affirmations in the comments section I would love to hear them.

Ari’

How to Keep a Journal

I have been writing in Journals for as long as I can remember. It has been one of the best ways to protect my peace, plan my next steps and give my mind a break.

Keeping a journal can be therapeutic, it can serve as a guide and remind you of what you want. They are great for sounding out ideas you think might sound crazy or just letting out your daily frustrations.

Here are 5 tips for keeping a journal

Get a notebook!

This is obvious, but some people keep notes on their phone or laptops but going old school is really the best way to go. Actually writing out how you feel, what you’re looking forward to or not goes a long way.

Create the right vibe

Try and find a quiet space and time when you can really hear yourself think.Where you will be comfortable getting in your feelings, whatever those feelings may be.

Bonus tip: light a scented candle and relax

Go with the flow

Most people say they don’t know how to start. A journal is for you-there are no wrong or right entries, so a good place to start is where you are. You can write about your day, you can write about a feeling, you can doodle, you will be surprised where your mind can lead you when you just let go.

No pressure

This is all about you, there is no need to keep it routine. You can Journal whenever you feel like it. You also don’t need perfect handwriting or picture-perfect pages, just write and don’t get too bogged down in the details of how it looks ( unless that’s your thing).

Write out your dreams

We can sometimes be scared to say what we want, a journal is a safe space and will give you the opportunity to work out your fears and hopes. Write out those big dreams and watch them come to life.

Write the vision and engrave it plainly on tablets. So that the one who reads it will run

Habakkuk 2:3

Do you keep a journal already? Have you been meaning to start? Do you have any questions? Let me know in the comments below!

Gratitude

Hello everyone!

How is your week going? Did we practice being more confident in the spaces we are currently occupying? Let me know below!

Today I want to talk about gratitude… this was inspired by a lovely impromptu brunch I attended last weekend. I was surrounded by 22 intelligent, creative, strong & passionate women.

We were all asked to share something(s) we were grateful for last year and as I listened to all the women speak about their different experiences and how it led them back to gratitude I was amazed.

Life is full of surprises and the sun doesn’t always come out the next morning, our cloudy days get even cloudier and the rain just won’t go away. Lol! Despite it all our strength should always lie in the fact that there is always light at the end, there is a lesson in every situation and gratitude to be felt & expressed.

When you think about it, no matter how bad things can get there will always be something to be grateful for. Living life with a constant lense of gratitude just makes everything better. You find that you complain less and your mind overflows with positive feelings and thoughts.

So next time everything seems to be crashing down, don’t forget that gratitude is a surefire way to get out of the situation fast.

Some things I’m grateful for:

1. Amazing friends & family

2. My job

3. Good health

What are you grateful for this year? Please share in the comments below!

Fike

Adulting

Hello everyone!

How has your week been?

Thursdays are typically a day of reflection for me and I’d like to bring that to this space. Last week on Instagram I asked my fellow newbies to the workforce how they were finding it & if they were enjoying the work they were doing.

Everyone was really open and honest and it was nice to see that I wasn’t the only experiencing certain things.

Some of the key things people struggled with:

1. Imposter Syndrome

2. Not being challenged enough

3. Feeling overwhelmed/ burnt out

These are things that greatly impact how you feel and in turn how you experience this new stage in life.

Personally, to make it all a little bit easier I remind myself of certain things.

1. Change is uncomfortable and is also constant, I have to get used to this feeling.

2. I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be right now

3. They wouldn’t hire me if they didn’t think I could do it!

4. I can’t control what happens but I can control my response

I’d like to find out what people think and what advice anyone has for those of us who might be struggling a little bit & who don’t actually think we are where we’re meant to be.

Please let me know your thoughts in the comments section!

Enjoy the rest of your week!

Fike

5 things I learnt in 5 days at NYSC Camp: Obubra, Cross-River 2019

1. Life’s what you make it!

To be honest I had fun at camp. It was the push outside my comfort zone I knew I needed. I said hi to strangers, asked for help. Danced to weird but wonderful music, got a thousand and one mosquito bites but I tried not to complain and so now I have fond memories

2. Take the high road often!

Like Tems, I kept asking ‘ why you wanna try me’ and saying ‘ they want to challenge me’ I’m really soft-spoken and it leads to people taking the piss. Man I wanted to fight so many times but I learnt that I have a restraint I apparently only reserve for strangers lol anyways taking the high road it a great idea, you leave the other person feeling silly and you feel yourself literally growing into the bigger person people always ask you to be.

3. To blend in I would have to speak either fluent pidgin English or fluent Yoruba and this was not the case. Alas I didn’t get too many weary looks

4. Privacy is apparently overrated. With communal showers and toilets that had no doors and sharing a living space with almost 60 people. There was no time and space to be ‘alone with your thoughts’ and honestly, sometimes that’s a good thing. It forces you to live in the moment and not think about yesterday or tomorrow. Helps you slow down

5. Choices are kind of exhausting. The freedom that came with wearing the same thing every day, my options were a white T-shirt and white shorts or a white T-shirt and white shorts! It was wonderful, being an indecisive person it really made my mornings and evenings less stressful.

I wish I could have stayed longer but life happens.

I will do an NYSC Camp Starter Pack!

Enjoy my Nollywood style photoshoot, courtesy of an on-site photographer.

Get Your Coins Sis!

When I hosted my first vision board party one thing everyone had on their board was dollars & pounds lol!

We all agreed that going forward we wanted to make more money and get better at saving and investing, the goal is to earn more & grow that money.

I think a lot of us know we should be saving and investing but if you’re anything like me then it’s just a chore, a pain and it gets buried in procrastination.

Shout out to the ones actually doing the work though!

To be fair I did start saving & investing this year, just a tiny bit but it was something. To try and improve I’ve been doing lots of research on how to be better with money and just generally improve my spending & saving habits so when I start earning all the cash moniessss I know what to do and how to handle it.

Some Online Things:

1. Tomie Balogun on Instagram

2. JR Kanu on Instagram

3. Smartmoneyafrica.org

4. Money Matters with Nimi

5. Toni Tone on Twitter sells a Budget Template for a very small fee

6. The Money Africa

These online tools generally give you more knowledge on the topic, for more practical resources see below:

Tools:

1. PiggyVest :

This is my favourite app right now, it allows me set daily, weekly or monthly direct debits from my main account to my piggyvest account . It gives investment opportunities and you earn interest on the money you save. It sets specific withdrawal days to encourage you to keep your savings, if you want to withdraw outside of the set days you are charged a small percentage! It’s all round amazing.

FBNQuest

This is another great way to grow your money, First Banks Money Market fund invests your money in a diversified portfolio and you can start with as little as N5,000

Books:

1. The Smart Money Woman- Arese Ugwu

I loved reading this, there’s so many useful tips and she explains boring principals in a really interesting and useful way.

2. Money Brain- JR Kanu

This is a really good one, its more well rounded and literally talks about all the things that will help you develop a money brain, not just how to grow your money.

Please add more useful websites, Twitter handles, books, or any other resources in the comments!

Here’s to getting our coins in 2020!

– Fike