Happy New Year x Life Update.

Happy New Year! I am wishing us all a wonderful year ahead filled with endless joy and more clarity. I know I have been away for a while but you’ll soon find out why.

We all have mixed emotions about a new year, what it really means if it’s even a ‘real thing’ etc but things are only as real as the people who believe in them. It’s real to me and so I am choosing to be excited and extremely hopeful! In an even weirder turn of events I remember feeling so unsettled at the end of 2019, very anxious and just a little scared to enter the great and mighty 2020, well I guess I know why that was. At the end of 2020 however, I was excited and spent the evening dancing in my room lol.

Anyway, how did you enjoy your holiday? Did you spend some much needed time alone, catch up with friends or chill with family? I was with my family for most of it and saw a few friends in between… I only had one week off work; which I spent sleeping, eating and watching way too much TV. I loved every second and I wish I had more time lol.

Towards the end of last year, I made a pretty big decision. I decided to make a career switch, barely one year into actually (finally) practising law and I wanted out. Now my sights are set on the Tech scene, thankfully I have been given some opportunities to work and volunteer. I am hoping to grow in this space a lot more this year and make some more changes.

Also, I started thinking very seriously about what I wanted my community platform The 2020 Vision to do for people, and how to be helpful. I am still thinking about this but I really hope this year I figure it out even more. @the2020visionsquad on Instagram if you’re wondering what I am talking about.

Another thing that took up my time was the fact that I took a random writing opportunity. This has turned out to be fun but also challenging. Because I am always wary of writing for people because – imposter syndrome. But, we don’t pay that any attention in this house! So I have been writing, I will share more when it is time.

Lastly, just before the year ran out I got the opportunity to speak to someone who I really admire, and essentially help her out with her community platform. This opportunity was definitely a highlight for me and I am still so shocked by how it came about. All I will say is shoot your shot and you never know where it will take you! You have nothing to lose from trying.

That’s what I have been up to, and you can see I have been a bit busy (swamped), but I wouldn’t have it any other way. My hopes for the new year are simple – do more of the things that scare me, go where the money resides, travel, and show up for the people who mean the world to me ( of which there are many).

What have you been up to? What are your hopes for 2021? Please share them with me in the comments

P.S my book club is reading – The Girl With the Louding Voice- Abi Dare, thought to share in-case someone needs a book recommendation.

What to do when life is hard.

We all want to know what to do when life is hard? Life gets hard, this is just a fact, there will always be highs and lows. The most important thing is how you handle the hard things. It could be the fact that you made a mistake or that you have a difficult job or dealing with hard family members, a failing business or just the uncertainty of the times.

I recently read a book called The Undomestic Goddess – Sophie Kinsella about a high powered lawyer who made a fifty million pounds worth mistake! She ran away from the situation and ended up as a housekeeper! This is the short story… you can read the rest yourself. What I learnt from reading this is that there is no such thing as making a mistake that will ‘ruin your life forever’ and that’s the truth! One of my favourite quotes from the book is ‘‘ Life is a resilient thing…’‘

A few things to remember along the way:

Always remember that you are worthy.

You are not defined by your circumstances or even your slip-ups. Failure is an event and it happens to us all. With this in mind don’t forget that no matter what you’re going through and what people might be saying to you or about your situation. Don’t forget to remember you are worthy simply because you exist!

Remember to take breaks

Rest is so essential when things get overwhelming. Sometimes you might have to power through it but always schedule in time to just stay still. Being still is so underrated but it really helps you to confront whatever situation it is you may be faced with.

Your feelings are valid

No matter what they may be. Be honest with yourself about how the situation is making you feel and how you think you can cope with it.

Talk about it

Sometimes you’re shy or you don’t think you can trust anyone enough. You need to give people a chance to be there for you. A problem shared is a problem half solved. Your trusted friend might offer great advice or provide a listening ear. Don’t underestimate the power of talking through it.

Encourage yourself!

Speak what you want to happen and focus on that. Things might be out of your control but just focus on staying positive, I wrote about 10 positive affirmations to keep you going on the blog- you can find them here.

If you’re in a hard place or trying to handle a hard thing then hang in there! It will be okay in the end and if it’s not okay…… you know how the saying goes.

Share this with anyone who might need to hear this! Leave a comment below if you have any tips for handling hard things.

with love,

Ari’

10 Positive Affirmations to keep you going!

You are what you focus on. I really believe in the power of meditating on a word, idea, plan and watching it come to life before your very eyes. So much so that I facilitate vision board & goal setting – you can find out more about this on @the2020visionsquad on Instagram. Positive affirmations give us strength us to believe in an action we want to bring to life!

Today I will be sharing 10 positive affirmations that will keep you going when you need an extra push.

1. I am enough – simple but so efficient, we sometimes think we need to be more, or be like someone else. But you are enough just as you are!

2. I will show up for myself today – Showing up for yourself, however this looks to you is fine. As long as you are able to show up!

3. I am excellent in everything I do – We are not called to perfection, we are only meant to do things to the very best of our abilities.

4. I am beautiful– Say it, because you are.

5. I am deserving of joy – Always, no matter what-you deserve joy simply because you exist.

6. I am strong & capable of achieving my dreams – Yes you are, you can do whatever you want to do. Just keep on believing and the wish that you wish will come true ( a little bit of Disney for you).

7. I am who the world needs right now, I will not let fear get in the way.- This one I heard at a lovely session hosted by @tiwalowla on instagram sharing it with everyone because it is so good and so true.

8. I will respond, not react– because we need to protect our peace at all costs.

9. I live in abundance – we do not have a poverty/ lack mindset!

10. I am confident , I am resilient, I am worthy– because you are and that’s on PERIOD.

Go forth and conquer as you give yourself these gentle reminders whenever you need them! Please share this with someone and leave one of your favourite affirmations in the comments section I would love to hear them.

Ari’

How to workout when you don’t feel like it

Fike

Today’s blog post was written by a dear friend of mine who is so passionate about Health & Fitness. The reason it was not written by me is that exercising, for the most part, is not something I am passionate about, although I understand the benefits sometimes I just can’t turn the knowledge to action.

Especially now during these times when we are trying our best to stay safe at home, working out is one of the best ways to keep our minds and bodies healthy.

This is where Mirafiit comes in. She has kindly shared 5 key tips to help with working out when you don’t feel like it.

Mirafiit

When some people think of exercising, they think of the obvious things – HIIT, Weight Training, Cardio. But exercise is so much more. For me, understanding the purpose behind a thing helps me stay motivated. On that note, I’ll start off by explaining the purpose of exercising.

We were built to move

Simply put, our bodies were designed for activity. If we don’t stay active, things start to go wrong.

We can sometimes have quite a sedentary lifestyle. This, in addition to overly processed foods and increased portion sizes, means that we have to make an active choice to exercise. Ideally, you should exercise for about 30 mins every day. Right, so now that that’s done, here are five tips on how to exercise when you’re not feeling it!

Make a choice

Change is active. You have to decide to commit to exercise because even though you may not like it, you need it. The benefits of exercise are vast, from preventing heart-related diseases to improving your mood and alleviating depression. Think about this the next time you’re not feeling it, your body depends on your decision.

Change your mindset

Burn the idea that exercise requires a certain type of activity. There are so many different ways to exercise. If you don’t like weight training, skip it. If you’d prefer to do a dance class, find something on YouTube and do it! Take a walk, go for a run, swim, do yoga. Do anything that gets your body moving for at least 30 minutes!

A little becomes a lot

Start off small. The last thing you want to do is set unrealistic targets. You can’t go from sitting on a couch all day to running a marathon. Set daily or weekly attainable and sustainable goals. Go up and down the stairs 10 times, do a 15-minute workout, take a walk. Review those goals as you achieve them and set new goals.

Increase your NEAT: Non-exercise activity thermogenesis

These are things you can do that don’t necessarily feel like exercise but actually help to combat the ills of our sedentary lifestyle. It is really simple, just do more in your day. Do your chores, clean your room, spend more time on your feet, walk round your house every hour, get a standing desk, cook, walk your dog, stand while watching TV. While I would still recommend doing another form of exercise no matter how little, increasing your NEAT is a great place to start!

Play a sport

Although this might not be possible at this time, when this is over you might want to consider joining a sports team (or starting one). Sport is a really fun way of exercising without feeling like you are and it’s also a great way to socialise. The key is choosing a sport you enjoy!

Thank you, Mira, for sharing! You can find Mira on Instagram: @Mirafiit where she shares more knowledge on all things fitness, she also offers personalised fitness plans.

Mirafiit @ The Active Brunch

Please share your comments on how you find motivation to workout!

Don’t forget to subscribe below!

Happy Easter all

To Understand [an understanding]

Be wary of yourself.

Be wary of your mind.

Be wary of the expectations you put on them.

 

Not everyone is you.

Not everyone will understand your spirit man.

This is for the ones who will take the time to unfold.

To peel back your layers and take delight in being enthralled in your essence.

 

Understand that a time will come when you will let them go

Those expectations that you carry so –

Close 

Enough that you often get burned.

 

Big wishes and bigger dreams.

They must not consume you.

Inhale the present.

Exhale the resentment.

Don’t let them bring you down.

 

To be expectant of someone who is still expecting themselves.

You may have found you.

Not everyone can.

Take some time to understand your fellow Wo(man). 

 

-Ari’

 

Femme Fatale

 

My definition: The ones they tell you and him to stay away from, the ones who know what they want and are not afraid to go after it.

Dictionary definition: a seductive woman who lures men into dangerous or compromising situations.

I have been feeling very inspired lately and recently there is a lot of girl power in the air.

My dear friend recently launched a website, dedicated to educating the masses and having the very important conversation of Feminism and why it is important. Here is the link to a truly enlightening experience  brag-aboutit  .

This post is about me redefining the definition of ‘Femme Fatale’ the popular definition is basically another way of saying women are responsible for the actions grown men take and I do not agree. It could also mean women are powerful and can make their dreams come true and I like this more.

The fact that women are seemingly more liberated in several ways is a good thing. I think it is important that women have the choice to be and  ‘Femme Fatale’ should be another way of saying free.

This post is hereby dedicated to my dear friend for starting something bigger than herself and for being true to her beliefs.

This post is all about the woman I have come to admire and maybe should examine more closely. Gabrielle ‘Coco’ Chanel.

I remember stumbling upon her biopic when I was about ten. That was something I’ll never forget because even at that age I was amazed by how she overcame the struggle and how used her femininity to progress, but despite this, she never compromised her standards and worked hard for everything she got.

I loved that she believed in practicality and comfort, but not at the expense of looking good. She redefined what it meant to be feminine and showed that black wasn’t a colour anyone should be afraid of. Although I am taking a path far away from hers, she is the very definition of Femme Fatale for me. She did it and was unapologetic in her ambitions.

Coco Chanel inspires me daily to be bold, seek more and put myself out there. I am failing miserably at all this but I am trying and I’m realising that’s all that matters.

So this week when you remember Femme Fatale, remember to be unapologetic and remember that your dreams are meant to be big!

– Ari’

 

Consent

BOY

She wanted it.

That’s what he said.

She just needed to be pushed over the edge.

She wanted it.

That’s what he heard.

He just needed to take off her skirt.

She wanted it.

That’s what her dress said.

Right?

It wasn’t all in my head?

I didn’t ask her,

but she wanted it,

She wanted to feel me.

She wanted my hands on her skin.

She wanted to take me.

She was just too intoxicated to let me in.

So you know i helped her along…

“So you got Consent?”

“Consent?”

“Yeah.. Consent?”

Did i ask her?

No, but her dress said so.

Did i ask her?

No, but her eyes didn’t say no.

Did i ask her?

No but my mind told me so.

Did i ask her?

No, but the way she moved her hips let me know.

Did i ask her?

No, but she was walking alone

Did i ask her?

I didn’t hear her say no!

Bro, just so you know

silence,

Is not an answer.

 

 

Eight Things I Learnt From My Summer Job.

via Daily Prompt: Learning

Learning is an interesting concept and most times we feel like we have to be specifically  taught something before we have learnt it.

This year I have found out that I am constantly learning and that’s the best way to live.

I worked as a charity fundraiser this summer and it was my job to walk up to people’s houses, knock on their doors , pitch my charity to them and eventually convince them to sign up and make a monthly contribution.

This job was totally out of my comfort zone and upon reflection I could have probably handled that better, but like I said its all a learning process.

So here is a list of things my job taught me:

1. The importance of a smile. People feed off your energy, when someone opened the door and I was monotone and not smiling they replied in a monotone and often dismissive manner, but if I was smiling and laughing, even if they didn’t sign up we often had a good  conversation.
2. I learnt that to succeed I need to do something I enjoy.
3. I  learnt that compromising for a short time can lead to long-term benefits
4. I learnt that I do not work well under pressure and even if its being put on me I need to ignore it. Sometimes pressure is inevitable, in this job we had weekly targets. However it was the weeks that I didn’t pay any attention to the targets that I was most successful.
5. I learnt that being open-minded will take you far. There is a whole world out there,  a whole world outside of you and it doesn’t take much to explore it.
6. I learnt that I can do anything I set my mind to.
7. I learnt to look for the silver lining in every situation.
8. People only hear what they want to hear. It is important you make them hear you.

 

I would love to hear about your most recent learning experience?

Ari’

 

 

 

 

I Hope You Love Yourself

I hope you love yourself because you know who you are.
I hope you love yourself in spite of all your fears.
I hope you love yourself because ‘fearfully and wonderfully made’ you are.
I hope you love yourself because it’s not easy to be a star.

So one day you’ll lie there and think of all the ones that could have been.
All the ones that could have rid you of what makes you you.

And you’ll smile because you loved yourself, so much so you knew they weren’t for you.

I hope you love yourself so you can love someone else.

– Ari’