Happy New Year x Life Update.

Happy New Year! I am wishing us all a wonderful year ahead filled with endless joy and more clarity. I know I have been away for a while but you’ll soon find out why.

We all have mixed emotions about a new year, what it really means if it’s even a ‘real thing’ etc but things are only as real as the people who believe in them. It’s real to me and so I am choosing to be excited and extremely hopeful! In an even weirder turn of events I remember feeling so unsettled at the end of 2019, very anxious and just a little scared to enter the great and mighty 2020, well I guess I know why that was. At the end of 2020 however, I was excited and spent the evening dancing in my room lol.

Anyway, how did you enjoy your holiday? Did you spend some much needed time alone, catch up with friends or chill with family? I was with my family for most of it and saw a few friends in between… I only had one week off work; which I spent sleeping, eating and watching way too much TV. I loved every second and I wish I had more time lol.

Towards the end of last year, I made a pretty big decision. I decided to make a career switch, barely one year into actually (finally) practising law and I wanted out. Now my sights are set on the Tech scene, thankfully I have been given some opportunities to work and volunteer. I am hoping to grow in this space a lot more this year and make some more changes.

Also, I started thinking very seriously about what I wanted my community platform The 2020 Vision to do for people, and how to be helpful. I am still thinking about this but I really hope this year I figure it out even more. @the2020visionsquad on Instagram if you’re wondering what I am talking about.

Another thing that took up my time was the fact that I took a random writing opportunity. This has turned out to be fun but also challenging. Because I am always wary of writing for people because – imposter syndrome. But, we don’t pay that any attention in this house! So I have been writing, I will share more when it is time.

Lastly, just before the year ran out I got the opportunity to speak to someone who I really admire, and essentially help her out with her community platform. This opportunity was definitely a highlight for me and I am still so shocked by how it came about. All I will say is shoot your shot and you never know where it will take you! You have nothing to lose from trying.

That’s what I have been up to, and you can see I have been a bit busy (swamped), but I wouldn’t have it any other way. My hopes for the new year are simple – do more of the things that scare me, go where the money resides, travel, and show up for the people who mean the world to me ( of which there are many).

What have you been up to? What are your hopes for 2021? Please share them with me in the comments

P.S my book club is reading – The Girl With the Louding Voice- Abi Dare, thought to share in-case someone needs a book recommendation.

Life In My Twenties: I’m Twenty-Three!

This week our post is two in one, both of our writers have no idea who the other is but they somehow happen to be contemplating what it means to be 23.

I found their words really encouraging and I hope you do too!

Afoma

It’s my 23^rd birthday in about a month and I’m very hopeful for the next year of my life. 

My 21^st year was probably the worst year of my life and its largely because life literally hit me from nowhere. I had been waiting to finally be an adult and have all these amazing life experiences – but here I was at 21 feelings very unaccomplished and unsatisfied.

I turned 21 a month after my graduation from university and I found myself extremely unhappy with my career choices and feeling like I should be doing a lot more with my life, which then made me spend the better part of my 21^st year either sad or in tears.

By my 22^nd birthday, I had decided to stop being sad over the things I couldn’t control, be appreciative of what I have achieved so far and remember to take each day as it comes because I’m still young and I have a long full life ahead of me.

This past year has been very satisfying to put it in one word. I took each day as it came, and it has been so rewarding. This year I started several projects and initially my anxiety was skyrocketing because what if it fails, but really what if they fail? Well now, I’ve accepted that if they fail, I’ll just have to try again. Life really goes on.

The best part about my 20s is figuring out life with my friends. We are all experiencing different things, learning & evolving, I cant wait to see the women we finally grow into!

Mira

I spend half of my day wishing I was 5 and the other half wishing I was 35. But recently I am learning to relax and appreciate the chaos that is being 23.

If you’re anything like me, you probably have about 10,000 thoughts a minute, a ton of different ways your life could end up, and you get consumed with your ideas as time passes. I have always viewed this as something I need to fix – To grow up and not feel like a child concerned with childish dreams.

Lately, I am not so sure, I am thinking more about how I think about myself and my design. I’m realising ( trying to really) that just because a path is not mainstream does not mean it’s not valid.

Let’s be real, this process sucks! It’s really high highs and shattering lows. It is anxiety, peace, pain and joy all at the same time. It is droughts of uncertainty, breaths of clarity and plunges of confusion. But it is life, and somewhere between the chaos, we have to live, we have to be.

So breathe, you’re good. You’re still figuring it out, it is messy but it is beautiful. Yes, the mess can be beautiful. Not when it’s cleaned up, but right in the middle! Laugh a little. Don’t be too hard on yourself because you’re doing good. Maybe not by the standards of the world, but you’re good.

Afoma & Mira have reminded me of some words of encouragement I wrote in a previous post- check it out here.

Please share and leave a comment if you enjoyed reading this !

Life In My Twenties: The First Year of my ’20s

Our guest today is in the ‘first year’ of her twenties and she explains what that looks like.

My takeaway is – we are all figuring it out, but we have to answer our own questions & decide what we want our lives to look like, no one has the answers!

Leave a comment and let me know how you felt at 20! Share this if you enjoyed it.

Happy Reading!

My 20s started off the most chaotic way possible – I had an exam, it rained excessively, I was late for my birthday dinner, my makeup didn’t bang and I had a fight with my friendship group.

Despite the start whenever I was asked, how does it feel to be in your 20s, my reply was always “it’s brought me so much clarity” (LOL). The thing is I was an overly anxious teenager and by the time I reached 20, it was a lot clearer what I liked, what I didn’t like and what I wanted my future to look like. 

My plan was simple: graduate with a masters, work towards becoming a chartered engineer while pursuing my dreams of becoming a freelance fashion journalist on the side and eventually start working on moving out of the UK. In some ways, my 20th year was a demo for what I had planned for the rest of my 20s. 

You see, I had planned on going into my 3rd year but somehow, when I least expected it, I got an offer for a year in industry(lesson no 1 in my 20s, plans can change anytime!!). Truth is, I really was not in the frame of mind to do 3rd  year, as at this point I had started to resent my course, so, I saw this as a way out and as a divine opportunity to clear my head. 

So I moved down south, to my own apartment, to start the infamous 9-5. I was doing everything an “adult” should be doing – living on my own, paying bills, going to work, having drinks on Friday night, and I was even writing for my fashion blog and another publication on the side. Perfect right? 

The thing no one tells you about your 20s is that even when you seem to have your shit together, you don’t. This was the first time I was truly on my own and there’s no clear blueprint really on what life in your 20s is like. 

Should I still be going out clubbing or am I too old? 

Should I be getting into a serious relationship?

 Should I be “grinding” and saving for a house like Twitter says I should do? 

Should I be finding myself? Should I be feeling this old?

 Should I be feeling this lost? 

What I’ve learnt from my first year in my 20s is you have to answer these questions for yourself.

Your 20s are when everyone’s path seems to diverge (some people are graduating and starting work, some doing masters, some moving back home) and you can no longer look around you for guidance. 

To make things worse there seems to be a huge pop culture emphasis on teens and high school then boom unmarried in your 30s – with a huge gap in the decade that defines your 20s. All this has led me to believe that my 20s is a time for me to look inwards, to define the life I want, the values I want to live by and stay true to myself. It’s also led me to believe that if I have to rely on myself more than ever now I have to start working and investing in myself unlike ever before.

 I can only hope for the best while I do this. 

Ose. 

Trusting the Process

We all talk about trusting the process but how many times have you thought about where you are and where you would like to be instead? If you’re anything like me, probably too many times.

So many of us are in a hurry to get nowhere fast, because when you get there you shift the goal again, and it’s back to ‘striving’ and doing too much.

I had a conversation with a friend recently and she mentioned feeling like she wasn’t doing enough … which is funny because from where I was standing she was doing a lot! She recently started a full-time job & is running a blog ( I promise I’m not talking about me lol) but somehow her mind had convinced her it wasn’t enough.

We can be really hard on ourselves, really impatient with ourselves. I’m learning to trust the process, slow down, and be present.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with looking and even planning ahead but don’t forget you’re here now! Your life will only happen once and if you miss it well that’s it.

Stop and actually smell the roses, give yourself a minute to acknowledge where you are and love yourself enough to work towards where you want to be, but above all trust the process.

Today take stock of where you are, everything you’ve achieved, and look back to see how far you’ve actually come.

While looking ahead remember to be patient with yourself and be kind too, everything good always comes!

How are you staying present & trusting the process? Leave a comment below I would like to know!