Growth writing

Life In My Twenties: Where Does It All Come From?

This week our writer focuses on faith…whether you’re a person of faith or just trying to have faith in yourself this is definitely one that we can all relate to in some way.

For me, the central lesson here is sometimes things spin out of your control but there’s a plan so don’t fret.

As always please share your thoughts in the comments I love hearing them!

Dear Ari,

When you messaged me and offered me this beautiful opportunity to be featured on your blog, I was super excited!

I remember the message saying “…faith, career, love, self-improvement, success, failure, identity, purpose, lack of purpose, killing it, struggling, relationships, friendships, family…”. I thought to myself easy-peasy.

These are topics I write/journal about as often as possible and so I thought sending in my entry would be super easy. That was the first place where I was wrong, writing for yourself and writing for an audience are two different things. 

Writing for yourself helps you understand yourself better, brings you some clarity. You are on the receiving end.

An audience? Wow. Getting people to understand you is a whole different thing.

While I would love to write on relationships, friendships or family, (as these are the things I find myself journaling about the most… because I think I have learnt way too much in the past few years).

I choose to write on faith as it is the one thing that has kept me teachable and open to learning in all these other aspects.

Let’s title this, WHERE DOES IT ALL COME FROM?

I am 26 years old now.

5 years ago, I decided to take on the opportunity of doing an internship in a different country for a month. In the beginning, the application process seemed so straight forward. I did not envision the hassle the next few months would entail, I realised later that I would have to pay for every week of this internship. I said to myself that it could be done. So I paid for it.

After paying, I found out that I had to take a professional exam to qualify for it. I paid for the exam and wrote it.

When this was done, I found out that I needed to apply for a student visa as I could not use a regular visitor’s visa. I accepted that. Then I was informed that I needed to attach a police report (this is not cheap where I live either).

I forgot to mention that I would have to sort my own accommodation and travel and all of that other stuff. The list of expenses kept getting longer and longer and it only upset me more because it was more than what I bargained for.

My other classmates had opted for internships arranged by the school and so had a way cheaper route.

I was discouraged every step of the way and I remember driving to my friend’s apartment to ask him to guide me through the police report. As I parked downstairs, I realised how stressed I was and how I was failing to meet the deadline and how I did not want to keep asking my parents for money they had not planned for and next thing, tears!!!!

I was full-on weeping. I was so broken by all that was going on and in the middle of this outburst, a question popped up in my head… who is your source? 

Ahn Ahn! I paused and said “ehn?”.  The question rang in my head again. The answer, however, was an easy one. Jesus. Jesus was and still is my source. He is the one who fills my cup so it overflows, He blesses me with good health, He gives me money, love, food, water, sleep, laughter, joy, everything! Most of all, Jesus is my source of peace. 

In that moment, I had to remember Jesus was my source of money to pay for it all. My parents were only the vessel. He would sort it all out. I started laughing at myself, ashamed that I had such a big God but still had time to worry and cry. I was filled with so much peace from that moment. 

There’s a good ending to this story because I went for the internship, had the best time and as they say…the rest is history. 

I needed that experience because even though the internship is long behind me, I learnt a valuable lesson that gives me a chance to ask myself one question whenever I am under pressure. The answer is always Jesus and knowing the answer is always followed by some peace.

So, let me ask, who is your source?

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” John 14:27 NLT